'Odd and Robotic': Crystal Hefner Reveals Late Husband Hugh Hefner Was Bad in Bed
The figurehead of Playboy was bad in bed?!
According to his former wife Crystal Hefner, Hugh Hefner has comparable to a teenage boy in the sack.
In her new memoir, Only Say Good Things: Surviving Playboy and Finding Myself, the blonde beauty, now 37, wrote about the first time she got with the businessman at age 21, when Hugh was 60 years her senior.
She recalled attending a Halloween party at the Los Angeles mansion and was quickly tapped to go up for a group s-- session with the infamous celeb.
Apparently, there was no kissing, romance or intimacy in that bedroom, which continued throughout their marriage.
“This was a well-oiled and well-practiced sequence of events. One that went the same exact way every time,” Crystal penned. “Picking some girls from the party and bringing them up. Changing into the uniform for the job: silk pajamas. The dimming of the lights. The music. The p---. Passing the pot. And then the s--.”
Crystal described the act with her late husband — whom she was married to from 2012 to 2017 — as “odd and robotic.”
“Like Hef was just going through the motions of something that had once been fun and s---,” she continued. “Or maybe it was never fun and s---.”
She noted how everyone in the late 91-year-old's circle was too afraid to give him advice on the subject.
“I think when you have so much money and power and so many 'yes people' around you, you just stick with your own narrative in your mind,” she added. “And then everyone else just goes along with it.”
Crystal even revealed how Hugh never once looked at her while doing the deed.
“There was nothing s--- about it,” she wrote. “It was about power and control and leverage. It was a performance. I was auditioning for a part.”
"He seemed less s-- savvy than some of the teenage boys I’d been with years ago,” she shared. “It was clear to me Hef had never taken a moment in his entire life to figure out how to please someone else.”
Crystal expressed how “relieved” she felt when the ritual stopped in 2014.
“There was no more bringing girls home, no more performances," she said. "For years, I had been keeping the Playboy Playmate charade for Hef, for the public."
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Despite the mansion’s reputation as one of the first s-- positive liberated stomping grounds, this is not how Crystal saw it.
“Now I wondered if that place had ever really existed,” she spilled.